Queer Eye for the Weiss Guys
by Stef
Summary: The Fab Five, sans Ted, visit our four favorite florists. Short, and stupid.


Queer Eye For The Weiß Guys  
By Stef  
Disclaimer: I own neither Weiss, nor the Fab 5.  
===  
  
Kyan poked at Yohji's hair with a stick he found on the ground. "What are you doing to your hair!? Just look at all that grease. What do you wash it with?"  
  
Yohji blinked vacantly at the hair expert. "Water?"  
  
"Water and?"  
  
"Just water." Yohji said, feeling ashamed.  
  
Kyan looked as if he were going to have a heart attack. "I'm going to show you some product that will help with your hair to make it look less... greasy and unkempt."  
  
===  
  
Omi sat on his bed with his ears covered, watching as the screeching harpy known as Carson rummaged through his closet. The sassy blond had thrown any article of clothing he deemed offensive onto the floor. So far, all Omi had still hanging up in his closet was a white T-shirt with red sleeves. Carson had told him it shows his "personality".  
  
"What am I going to do about the clothes you want me to get rid of? Should I buy new clothes?" Omi asked the energetic fashion expert.  
  
"Well, first of all, honey, we're not getting you clothes. We're gonna get you some _couture_. As for what we're gonna do with what we get rid of," he said, tossing Omi's brown potato sack looking shirt onto the floor with disgust. "I was thinking of setting it ablaze!" Carson answered.  
  
Ted appeared in the doorway to make a bad pun. "Then there'd be something in town more flaming than _you_, Carson!"  
  
Carson shrieked and made a scary face before throwing a pair of Omi's underwear in Ted's face.  
  
===  
  
"Okay now, sweetie, here's what we're gonna do..." Thom rasped at the dumbfounded Ken. Apparently, no one had told Thom that Ken didn't know English very well. "I was thinking we'll do your walls in red, because red is a very passionate color, and you seem like a passionate person."  
  
Ken blinked at the decorating master and Pier One Imports Spokesqueer.  
  
"With the bed, I was imagining some throw pillows and a matching duvet, to make things seem more intimate. I want this room to look as inviting as possible, while still being efficient. Now I heard you like to work out?" Thom didn't give Ken a chance to understand him or answer. "Well, I think that if we clear this space over here, we can put an exercise bike in here. How do you feel about that?"  
  
Ken wondered where Aya was. Aya knew English pretty well. He looked over his shoulder, hoping to see the stoic redhead. Instead, his vision was greeted with Carson chasing Ted (who was wearing Omi's underwear on his head) down the hallway. Americans were strange, Ken decided, as Thom continued to rattle on about space and lighting.  
  
===  
  
Jai sat Aya down on the couch and faced him. "Okay now, Aya... you and I are gonna work on your communication with your friends here. First we'll start with your body language. See how right now, your posture is very rigid and your arms are folded across your chest?"  
  
Aya looked down at his arms crossing his chest.  
  
"Well, this is clearly a signal that says 'Stay away from me! I don't want you around!'." Jai explained.  
  
"Okay." Aya nodded and looked at Jai without changing his position.  
  
Jai scratched his cheek. "All.... right. Moving on: when you talk to someone you want to look him or her in the eyes. See how like I'm doing right now?" Jai pointed with two of his fingers to his eyes. "This shows that you're paying attention and that you're interested in the conversation."  
  
Aya looked across the room out the window. "I see." He replied.  
  
Ted poked his head into the room. "He looks very interested too, JJ."  
  
Jai sighed. The pretty ones were always so difficult.  
  
===  
  
**A/N:** No one needs it more than Weiß does. Plus you were probably thinking the same thing. Short and drabbly and pretty stupid. Please leave a review telling me what you think. Also, I would have used Ted for more than bad puns and silliness, but there are only 4 Weiß boys, and really, cooking is boring anyway. Sorry, Teddy.


End file.
